Before you go on and explore this article in detail, please read “Use your body language for success in business and career, Part 1” first.
The mirroring effect
When you’re the one who speaks, you’re the one who leads the interaction at that precise moment. The feelings of the listeners are always influenced by the communication of the leader or speaker. This means that what you feel and how you move and speak will serve as mirrors to you listeners to some degree.
When you force yourself to adopt a certain body language, it will affect your own emotional state and your entire communication including your tonality, your breath and your word debit, which in turn will affect your listener’s feelings.
That’s what we are doing here; we are inducing the feeling of trust into our listener’s head.
A note on the hand shake
The hand shake is very important since you enter the other person perimeter and actually touch him or her. In business context, your goal is not to establish dominance since what you aim for is trust, so you don’t need to have the upper hand.
The hand shake should not be too soft, too hard, but firm and comfortable with a good level of energy.
It should say something like: I’m happy to meet you and I come with respect.
If it’s the first time you meet that person, try to not close in face to face. Keep a 45 degree lateral angle when you go through his perimeter for a handshake. It will reduce the feeling of anxiety of the other person and help transmit a comfortable feeling.
If this is not the first time, you can give a little friendly tap on the shoulder or on the back followed by a friendly handshake. Casual touching will induce a feeling of a tighter bound between both of you.
Inject some excitement
With the new girlfriend, you’re not only in love; you’re exited to be in love!
Once trust has been established with your listener, you may want to trigger some excitement and enthusiasm about your ideas or about yourself.
Simple trust might just not be enough to make them buy in!
To do that you will have to continue the open-handed arm gesture when you speak in order to illustrate what you’re explaining, but now you will raise your arm at the height of your chest. Usually, when people are really exited or passionate about something, they will gesticulate at that height.
It literally brings up the energy level in your body, which will bring energy into the entire communication.
By doing, you will purposely induce a feeling of excitement to yourself and your listeners.
Notice how all great speakers including the president are doing it. Prior to the speech, they are not necessarily really excited about what they have to say! They probably feel anxiety actually. But by using this kind of body language when they speak, they put themselves in the right mood to feel great and to influence others.
It de-stifled them if you wish.
Not only people will listen to what you have to say, but they will have a positive energetic feeling about it! They will be interested to know about it, because instinctively, they will know that there is something of value there!
Your breathing rate will increase along with your heartbeat and the pitch of your voice with convey more energy. This is automatic and your listeners will mirror this onto you.
That’s how you can really be persuasive; your listeners need to feel trust first and then feel excitement to be motivated to take action. Otherwise, their natural reaction will be to forget about it and fall back to their usual daily routines. Oh yeah, tooth paste, shoes polish and some milk, too.
Of course, you can and should infuse this excitement with any flavors ,for example, joy, hate, anger or any feeling that fits the motivational context.
The smart-ass enigmatic smile
But there is better way than a big car-seller-style smile!
The enigmatic Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci kind of smile is way superior!
A just slight curved up smile is way more influential because it also communicates that you know something. It gives the feeling that you’re confident and feel smart about something of value…
This is puzzling smile; simply triggers interest and put some value in what you have to say.
Smile very slightly and close your eyes a little to give them an almond shape.
It says something like: If only you knew what I know… you would not hesitate to buy in.
On these last tips, keep in mind the one and only general principle behind all this: when it comes to business, your goal is to induce the feeling of trust ,and the best way to do this is by using your body.
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