When it comes to power, leadership or just being promoted, your personality, attitude and what you sub-communicate to others matter a lot. In fact, it matters so much that even if you’re the best or the smartest worker in your organisation and you fail to have the “charisma”, you will never move up the ladder or you might just simply get unrecognized for your input/skills.
The thing is, this has nothing to do with who you really are inside but has everything to do with how you’re being perceived by others.
I know this is very counterintuitive for many and seems totally stupid or unfair, but you must realize the fact that in real life what matters the most is not the content but the container.
Millions of people think that the RedBull drink has some kind of special effect that gives more energy and even better than coffee! Yet RedBull is only water, 80mg of caffeine and a shit load of sugar.
In reality, it’s not even a strong caffeine dosage, for a short Starbucks coffee contains 180mg of caffeine which is more than the double of what’s in a RedBull can.
What makes RedBull so effective then?
What make RedBull worth paying so much for a simple sweet caffeinated water?
It’s the can! The logo, the color and the marketing around it.
It’s what the can says, not what it actually contains!
It is also called the placebo effect; means it’s all in your head!
Sharp image 101
There is great power in how you signal to others who you are. That is the difference between being promoted or rejected and often between winning or losing.
Once you have enabled you inner power, the thing you need to do in order to accomplish anything you want in life is to harvest and use the power of others.
In other words, other people have to follow your lead!
The myth says that this “aura” or “charisma” is some kind magical talent that only the lucky ones are born with.
Well, I don’t believe so.
In this post I’m going to basically describe it so you can start developing it for yourself.
There are 3 categories of things you need to address in order to have a power personality.
- How you act.
- How you look.
- How you communicate.
Again, the idea is to sub-communicate the right things to other people’s sub-conscious mind in order to make them trust, respect and follow you; all that without even thinking about it.
How you act
Basically, you want to be perceived like the kind of guys others would choose if they had to be stuck in a fox hole with a partner during times of war.
Confident, strong and calm, a man of integrity, a person who love and respect others; someone who values loyalty and family. You have the courage to stand for yourself and defend others. When it’s appropriate, you’re not afraid to tell things the way they they really are, with a level of sensitivity.
You’re an optimist with a brutal realism, and maintaining an excellent reputation is very important to you. When someone attacks you in public, you stay calm but retaliate. You definitively have high standards for yourself but you display them with humility.
Make sure that your house, office and car reflect all of that. You need to become a promoter of those values by acting on them publicly and by leaving evidence of them around you. Remember, this is marketing; you must make those attributes visible.
How you look
This is the easy part, so if you’re a little lazy, focus on this one first. Your appearance must be cold clean and polished. Haircut, beard, nail, teeth and body odor must be at their best.
No need to be super athletic or to have big muscle but you must be a least “Slim Fit”. Basically, healthy weight with a minimal of muscle development is fine.
The cloth you wear must be similar of what successful people wear at the next level where you going, in a given environment. If you’re an employee, dress like a clean manager. If you’re a manager, dress like a clean director.
Have some sort of signature item, color or pattern. Wear only quality items, no need to be super fashion, just get quality slightly above the standard of people around you; focus on things that fit great on you.
Also, in most environments, you have to hide your tattoo and do not wear items that are too extravagant, as they will distract the attention away from what you have to say, and they may also encourage jealousy.
You must simply look dynamic and sharp; if your look is dishevelled, it signals laziness and distraction. This principle must also be applied to your office, car and house. Clean, polished and sharp as a razor blade.
Think about it this way: your apparel is your armor; when you wear it, you must feel invincible.
How you communicate
You must upgrade to a superior than average speaking skill. Your accent must be “internationally clean” and similar to a news presenter, and your grammar must be impeccable as well. The pitch of your voice must be low, relaxed, and always keep it clean; try not to swear at all. This can be tricky to adjust to, but you can practice these tips in your car, listening to a radio news channel or an uptight cultural talk show by repeating loudly what the speakers have to say.
Whether you talk to one or many people, you need to first establish an emotional connection by talking about a personal experience, for example.
Use your emotional intelligence in order to blend in by adapting your speech to their mood, culture and style.
Don’t get lost in the details, be succinct and use occasional humor to create bond with them. Keep a great body language at all times, and don’t check you smart phone or other device while speaking or listening to others. You keep the dialogue polite and respectful as much as possible.
It is also good to inform yourself about the favorite subject of your audience so you could have a great small talk when time for it comes.
All those things together sub-communicate intelligence, confidence, self-respect, strength, control and also the fact that you know where you’re going in life. For that, most people who don’t really embody those qualities themselves will instinctively see you as a model they can follow.
It’s going to be automatic; the fact that your appearance is “top of the line” will create attraction.
Sure, you could fake all of this and make it only an illusion, but why faking it if you can make it real!
If you plan to work seriously on your “image” issue and need more in-depth coaching, technique tips and hack, I recommend you to read Seeing Yourself as Others Do: Authentic Executive Presence at Any Stage of Your Career by Carol Keers. This is best resource on the subject and contain exactly what you need to put in place a strong action plan. It is also available in audio.
On this note, I wish you a nice day.
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