You have probably heard that when you meet someone new, the first impression is very important because it will greatly affect what perception this person will develop about you. Well, if we go a little bit deeper down that rabbit hole, you will discover that all the behavior you will have with that person will greatly influence the form of behavioral pattern that this person will facilitate with you.
Most of what you do are affected by your behavioral patterns and are also the result of your experience in this world. The way we act to our girlfriend and wife has tremendous influence on how they will behave when it comes to us since we are in a long-term relationship.
You might have found a perfect little sexy angel, but if you unconsciously reward the wrong behaviour pattern or punish the good one, she might just turn into a cute little monster in the next year. To this day and age, a countless amount of guys are partnered with bat-shit-crazy wives that ruin their lives or girlfriends that don’t give them enough sex, and unfortunately, they are partially responsible for that situation.
My philosophy on this is this: better take the bull by the horn and take charge of the situation. Before we get started, I would like to add that I have seen countless amounts of men who had been tamed by their girlfriend. So if you have a morale problem with this, just remember that she probably won’t have any!
Behavior modification is a set of strategies, procedures and techniques that involve handling your conscious response to event in order to shape other people’s behaviour. It is used by educators in schools, by managements and governments’ at a large scale.
I’m telling you, it’s a must; it’s definitively a powerful tool that you need to master and start using on your girlfriend yesterday, and also start observing how she is probably already using it on you. A little hint here: usually women use sex and tears to shape men’s behavior. Just keep an eye on that. You might discover that she is way more clever than you thought she was. That’s what they meant when they said that women have better social skill than men. Yeah, they were not talking about women’s verbal fluency.
Reward positive behavior
It makes total sense to reward positive behavior, such as sex or just acting as any other sane and pleasant women would when around you, yet many men unconsciously screw it up.
The first thing to do is to acknowledge it.
Let’s say, you want your girlfriend to dress sexy for you, not only when she goes to work or go out with friends, but for you, at home. Well, when she does it, the first thing you should do is to tell her: “Wow! You are very beautiful today babe, I really like this nice kit you’re wearing. ”
If you ignore it, it’s going to make the opposite effect; read the second part (Do not reward negative behavior).
Common mistake: failing to notice or acknowledge the good behaviour.
Second thing is to take action: if you only praise her, she could see through your game, so instead, take action. Basically, take the time to enjoy her good behaviour. Following the previous example, you could simply stare at her, stick around her, and flirt with her, give her what she wants more than usual. You could certainly throw a funny or indirect compliment a little later like: “It’s getting hot here and I think we need to fix this A/C issue”; say all this while looking at her breasts…. You need to take some time to do that.
Common mistake: not reacting to the good behavior.
Third thing is to give a good review the next day. Try to think about it, a day or two after and just say a straight to the point compliment about how you enjoyed her previous behavior. “Woof… that dress you wore yesterday at home, that was a very nice.”
Common mistake: forgetting about it right away.
It must stay indirect, because women have experience when it comes to mind control undertakings, and if you want to have great results, your strategy must stay mostly unnoticed.
The key here is that she must unconsciously pick up the fact that this behaviour could be beneficial to her interest. That it is something she can profit from it.
She will calculate the cost: benefit ratio and estimate whether it is worth doing it or not.
Do not reward negative behavior
This is where it gets a little trickier. Again, it is obvious that you don’t want to reward bad behaviour, yet a lot of guys will succumb to the temptation and will do something to please her in order to calm things down when she is getting crazy. Even if it’s tempting, it is very important to avoid it for your long-term sanity.
Something that is less understandable for most is that you don’t want to react openly to her after a bad behaviour. Why? Simply because it demonstrates that she has emotional leverage on you doing that behavior, a situation that SHE WILL exploit, thus creating another bad behavior, one which can easily turn into an even worse one.
What you need to do is to remove your attention from her; don’t say much, just act like if she was losing value in your eyes; this, in return, will make her believe that you are losing interest in her.
Just continue your day doing something else as if you were bored by her. It’s no big deal; it’s just that you have better and more important things to do.
Example: Hooo Antique PJ … nice, I think you should stitch that hole down there before it gets worse. Anyway see you later… I’m going to the basement I think I might have something to do down there.
By simply losing attention, value or seduction power over you, she will understand that this behavior is not good for her own interests.
You must also understand that if her bad behaviour is recent or is taking precedence, it might be the result of one of your own behaviors. In other words, you might be supporting the growth of her bad behaviour.
For example: If she acts like a crazy bitch when alone with you but behaves ok when others are present. A classic example… By helping her hide this situation from others and by validating to everyone that she is a good girl and that your relationship is going very well, you are supporting and protecting her bad behaviour.
In this case, don’t be shy to reveal clues in front of her friends about how you’re not pleased with her bad attitude. Just don’t hide it. Unveil it as a funny story; tell everyone how crazy she has been just before leaving the house! “Hahaha women… so crazy sometimes, I mean always … hahaha!”
This also goes for helping her fix the problems she has just caused! If she gets in trouble as a result of her bad attitude, don’t come to her rescue! She simply needs to experience the consequences of her actions.
Again, what is the cost: benefit ratio of her behavior; what is she getting from this? If it turns out being a negative transaction, she will stop doing it.
Here are a couple of effective strategies that you can use to enforce good behaviour, such as sex and sanity, and discourage bad behaviour, such as drama or pure craziness.
Help her avoid an unpleasant task or situation if she is willing to behave appropriately.
Modeling the prestigious
To promote a new behaviour, use prestigious people like actors or movie characters as role models on which you express your attraction and admiration for their display of such excellent behavior.
Decreasing the reward
To encourage her to continue an established behavior with fewer rewards, slowly and gradually require a higher level of excellence before giving the reward.
Random special treat
To increase the occurrences of certain behaviours, give her a random special treat. She cannot know when she will have the treat, but if she does the positive thing many times, she can increase her probability of getting it!
When the current reward strategy doesn’t work anymore, simply because it’s getting old, change it for a new one. You really need only 2 or 3 of them to use indefinitely in cycle one after the other.
When she always tries to do the opposite of what you want in order to challenge you, just “officially” encourage her to continue, while very subtly making sure that she can feel the negative impact the behaviour has on her own interest.
Reward conflicting auxiliary
To discourage certain behaviour, you can’t reward other behaviours that are in conflict, in opposition or simply not aligned with the targeted bad behaviour.
To prevent the rise of a certain behaviour, take the opportunity when you witness a bad behaviour you see from others on TV to express your repugnance for it, and explain why it’s bad.
Elimination of fear
If you want to reduce her fear or embarrassment about certain activities such as wearing lingerie, doggy style position or anal sex, slowly and gradually increase her exposure to the activities while she is already comfortable, relaxed, secure or rewarded.
Being aware of behaviour modification and making it part of your game can do wonders in a long term relationship, especially if you start from the beginning. Being alpha is also not being the chump who thinks this is crazy while he is being turned into his wife’s little submissive puppet. This game is played on both sides, and if your don’t get in, you will be sure to lose the game for good.
For detailed information about this powerful science you can get Behavior Modification: What It Is and How To Do It, its pretty much the best book on the subject.
Until next post,
Recommended Strength Training Program