Here’s a classic trap millions of men fall into: you have a new girlfriend and it’s awesome; the sex is hot and fun, she asks you if she could move in with you. Naturally, you will say yes because you know this will mean regular sex, but about 6 month later you notice a steady drop in her sex drive. At first you do not think it a big deal because you believe it will come back, but it only gets worse and worse with time, so you blame the Coolidge effect, and you end up with practically no sex in your life.
How could you restart her libido? That is a good question. But it’s the wrong one!
The thing is, if she is healthy and doesn’t have a hormonal problem, she has normal libido. She is genetically conceived to desire a good pounding on a regular basis. The only thing she doesn’t desire it from you anymore. She’s probably masturbating when you’re not there and flirting with other man. She also probably feels sexual desire for other men and may have even acted upon her desires occasionally, if not regularly.
There must be attraction
The problem is not here libido but her lack or attraction. Women are attracted to men who are strong, in control and can hold their shit together and even have a significantly higher sex-rank and value compared to other men. When you’re the one supplicating for sex, it reveals that you in fact have lower value.
Think about it: you’re going out with a very attractive girl, she wears nice sexy clothes, she has beautiful hair, etc… You feel strong sexual desire for her. Later, you move in with her and then she only wears the same old pyjamas around the house all the time with very messy hair, no makeup and, if you are particularly unlucky, all that with more body fat percentage than when you first met her.
What will happen to your sexual desire for her? It will slowly but surely decrease…
When you’re in a long term relationship with a woman, the part of the schedule when you see her the most is when you are back home. Most of the guys, when they are back at home, drop their game, become lazy and relax.
You must maintain high value and sex-rank even when you are home! That’s where she experiences you the most!
Understand that when a woman is not attracted, even if her libido is strong, there will be no sex. She will come up with some sort of bullshit way to avoid sexual activities with you.
Attractions 101, don’t push, but pull!
You always desire more what you can’t have, right? The rarest it is, the more value it holds! This is the fundamental of how attraction works. Make sure that you handle the basics first.
When your single and you date girls, you have a game. When you have a girlfriend and you’re in a long term relationship, you need to have a game, too! Only it’s a different game, a long term game, but still a game.
If you have no game, I can promise you a very disappointing sex life.
When you are pressuring her to have sex, you are actually lowering the value of her having sex with you. It reduces attraction. Pushing for something is a very bad strategy when it comes to attraction.
What happen when your shopping and the seller is to pushy? You just want to get the fuck away!
Pulling is way better.
You just tease a little bit, and then, you pull out. I use the same method when I go fishing.
I throw the bait; I pull it slowly in some sort of shaky pattern, to tease the fish. When I can feel that a fish tastes the bait, I give him some lose, I let him swallow the bait properly, and then I hock it.
E.g.: After work you go back home; you go dress up casually but as a high value target. The same way you would do before you went on a date, simply because you respect yourself. Then you go to your girlfriend, have a short casual chat, a little bite to the neck, a little slap to ass, and then you say: “I see you later! I’m going to help a friend sharpen his knife collection!”
What can I tell you, I’m high value; I have things to do and people to meet! I’m in demand!
It’s kind of normal, I’m so handsome …
If you’re always around her trying to get something from her, supplicating her for a drop of attention, you will turn her off.
You need to create value!
Make yourself a little bit less accessible; make her work a little harder to get a piece of you and let her perceived very subtly that; Yes there are other women around you in your life, at your work, that would be glad to get their hand on high value guy like you.
Do more classic men stuff
Probably your girlfriend is mostly heterosexual. That means she is attracted to your masculine characteristics. When you are home with her around, instead of playing at being a man in some lame videogame, or fulfill your manliness virtually with a computer, get real!
Cut wood, dig a hole, transport rocks, build a shed, landscape your backyard, improve the house, fix the car or do strength training with some heavy dumbbells.
Those real, classic, physical, men activities are good for your mind and body, and they will make you stronger and better at being a man.
Do more of those, and I guarantee you will like it; it is part of your instincts, so make sure to put those activities in the schedule at a time when she can witness them.
It’s a little bit like when your wife and her friends do yoga in the living room every Wednesday after dinner.
It would surly turn you on! Right? I really like the Cat stretch …. Miaoouuu!
Instead of focussing on trying to get more sex from her, focus on being a stronger and better man. Do men’s stuff! Hanging out with other man and build or repair something! Also, make sure that she is aware of it. You cannot get benefit from what she doesn’t see or doesn’t know!
Unleash your primal instinct
When it comes to sex, I totally recommend having good knowledge of female anatomy and some technical details about how to arouse her and make her come. There is some good literature on the subject.
But once it’s time for action, forget about all that! Just let your primal instincts free, stay in the flow and do what you need to do.
Don’t worry, about your techniques or her orgasm, this would pull you out of the flow and make you lose the momentum. Women are very sensitive to emotional fluctuation. The more you will be in the flow -horny as hell- the more she will be too. So get out of your head, and unleash your primal instinct on her.
Also realise on thing: she is in control of her own orgasm.
I’m going to write it again just to make sure it’s clear.
She is in control of her own orgasm.
If she wants to come, she needs to take action and communicate or do what is required for her to come. Also realise that she can have great pleasure getting fucked her brain out even if she doesn’t come!
So, don’t focus on that! Just stay in the flow and use her for your own pleasure!
This entire performance anxiety thing is what makes the sex boring and will affect the attraction she has for you. It’s not about the techniques; it’s about emotional intensity and connection.
I’m doing it right; does she prefer it that way; maybe she will come if I do that faster? STOP!
Stop caring so much about her, and stay out of your head. Her orgasm is not your responsibility!
Anyway, let’s be serious, most women are actually bad in bed! Most of them have absolutely no proactivity or originality when it comes to sex. The only difference is that men don’t always complain about it like they do.
If you lose control, let yourself go and unleash your sexual primal instincts on her; she will feel sexually desired and that is way more important than giving her orgasm or to achieve perfect technique or high performance.
By feeling this intense desire from you and this intense roller-coaster of sexual emotions when you get down on her, she will be way more inclined to have sex with you in the future.
A little “technical” sex tip
A great opener to put things in motion, one of the best bridges to sex, a quick and scientifically proven way to give a nice release of oxytocin (the female love hormone) to your girlfriend is by giving her a nice tantric massage.
Women hardly ever reject a massage proposal. Yes that right, this is a very powerful skills that could very easily increase your sex-rank once mastered!
To not be so obvious, you can make a habit to give her occasionally a quick neck/shoulder/back massage without sexual intent, which is a nice casual display of affection and also will make her get used to get massaged. This only to prep the way for tantric massages that will certainly lead to great sex!
Now, I’m not going to enter in the details of the tantric massage in this article but, If you don’t know the basics get yourself Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy, try it, be creative and see by yourself the power of oxytocin!!!
Until next post.
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