For a man knowing his purpose and place in this world has an incredible array of benefits and it is also my personal belief that it is essential if we are to reach higher level of maturity, strength and peace of mind. Your purpose act as an internal compass that reminds you about what you do, why you’re here, and where you’re going. If reading this post is not somehow in alignment with your purpose, then you should know right away that you’re out of scoop.
Knowing, feeling and living your purpose bring clarity and the precision you need when times of great despair bound to happen or when you have to make tough calls. If living your purpose gets you fired, dumped, killed or any other bad things you can imagine, then it is not to be considered a dramatic failure but rather an honourable lost. A true man accepts it with a peace of mind and move on.
If you don’t really know your purpose and/or live in integrity with it, then you will have trouble to truthfully answer the following question: Why am I doing this?
Well, you’re just bouncing towards your random desire, craving, longing and eventually straying away from the pain, discomfort and uneasiness. Your thoughts and attitude are then guided by the mass media and popular beliefs. You’re just bouncing back around for the wind to carry you with tide.
The main problems with that are that it keeps you from living life to the fullest or exploit your full potential along with those things that could make you highly competent at battling the difficulties lying ahead. You’re more likely to abandon, change your path or even break down when shit hits the fan. Believe me when I say that whatever great things you will try to accomplish in life, shit is bound to hit the fan sooner or later! That is just the natural order of things.
You need something that grounds you, something meaningful that comes from deep within you to keep you from changing course and allow you to do the right thing at all times.
4 steps you have to do to find your purpose.
1- Be aware of your belief system.
Self-awareness is of grave importance in order to find out what your purpose really is. I recommend you to take some time to answer the 10 following questions. Then analyse your answer and write a small text that summarise all those answers while keeping the main focus on what you stand for in life.
Use a stress free moment and try to disconnect from outside influences before you go about doing this. Don’t think too much; try to give an answer to these questions straight away.
The goal here is to become self-aware of what kind person you truly are, right now.
- What would you do if you just learned that you only had 3 month to live?
- What cause do you strongly believe in?
- What would you regret not doing in your life?
- What would you do if a natural disaster smashed your town?
- What would you do if a friend asked you for help but you had other plans?
- What would you do if your friends were bashing another friend behind his back?
- What would you do if you won the lottery?
- What would you do if someone attacked you?
- If you could get a message to a large group of people, what would your message be?
- Let’s pretend, you are now 85 years old and about to die soon, looking back at your life what matters to you the most?
2 – Clarify what are your core values.
Your values establish what kind of turn your behavior takes in life. It is important to clarify your values once in a while. I’d like you to take some time to focus on your core values that will most likely make you a better and stronger man. Based on the product of the first exercise, make a list of your top 7 positive core values.
Here are some examples of values to get your started:
By practicing and enforcing your chosen core value every day you will end up carving a strong character. You can do regular morning auto-suggestion exercises for a couple of months to anchor them strongly. Those core values constitute the backbone behind your purpose, and thus it is important to live in integrity and harmony with them.
3 – Explore your passions
It is important to explore your passions because they are part of what fuels your purpose. What does really motivate you in life? We are going to list your main passions in life here. This will greatly help you to find out what your purpose is because your passions are a reflection of what you truly are deep inside.
Again, if you have trouble to identify your passion, I have a couple of questions you can answer to help you with that:
- What were your favourite activities when you were a kid? What about now?
- What activities make you lose track of time?
- What activities make you feel great about yourself?
- What activities you are naturally good at? Any special talent?
- What is meaningful to you about these above-mentioned activities?
- What do people typically ask your help for?
- If you had to teach something, what would that be?
4 – Define and write you purpose statement
The fourth and final step is to define and put what your purpose is on paper. Like a business mission statement, your purpose must be something that you’re proud of, something that will give you direction and clarity, something that will motivate and empower you. But unlike a business mission statement it must not aim at external accomplishment but instead at an internal or more spiritual end.
Now that you have increased your level of self- awareness and that you have clarified what core value you wish to live by and what you passions are, you should be in the perfect mindset to define what your purpose is.
Your purpose should be a straight answer to all the why-questions out there.
Why are you here? Why are you doing what you’re doing?
Try to keep it simple. One to five sentences should do it. No need to worry about making it perfect the first time, because this is not written in stone. You will come back as often as you feel right to refine it.
Here is an example of a purpose statement to give you an idea of what it could look like:
Connected to god, striving to stay humble, treating others with kindness and respect. I fight to protect myself and my family, my country, and my way of life. I find happiness and peace through promoting truth as well as seeking wisdom and love.
Once you have a good first version, I believe it is a good practice to read it and reflect about it every day as part of your morning or bedtime routine. Personally, I have a purpose reminder buzzing me on my smart phone at 7:45 each morning.
Life is full of challenge, having a self-defined purpose will build character, provide you with direction and motivation while offering flexibility, lightness and spontaneity during hard and good times.
Personally, I find this “life’s purpose” notion of great importance. In fact, if I have to summarize what an Alpha is in only one short sentence, by cutting the crap and the complexity out of the concept, I would say: An Alpha is a man guided by his purpose, on his way to achieve his goals.
If your interested to read more about this subject, I recommend you to read The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Deida. In this great spiritually flavored book for men, Deida discuses the importance of living in pursuit of your own purpose and much more…
Also, a other great resource on the subject but in a very different style is Finding Your Element: How to Discover Your Talents and Passions and Transform Your Life by Ken Robinson. This book is solid and will definitively help you to reflect on this and find your purpose if you need help for that matter.
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