On the one hand, I often have guys telling me that when they approach a girl they really like, they are constantly getting blown away because they do not possess an effective pick-up technique or tactic. These girls act like bitches on purpose, although they might be genuine and nice on the inside! On the other hand, women often tell me that “chemistry” is essential for making things work between a man and a woman. If proper chemistry is not present, why would they waste their time on those losers?
Guys, the thing is that for women there is this “magical” reality, most likely pink, which exists only in their minds, originated in a place where fairies and unicorns live. They call it “chemistry,” and it’s going to define the destiny of your relationship with her.
But from the perspective of men, it is not something that just happens; it is something that we make happen, consciously or not!
What the hell is “chemistry” in the first place?
It’s a range of strong positive and pleasant, dominant and sexually charged emotions that you put in place when you create a social connection with a female individual. This can be created in a fraction of a second, and it can allow you to approach any random single girl with ease.
Most girls will respond very positively to your approach if they are available and if there is a strong chemistry present between you two.
Why do men need to make it happen?
The reason for that is because, by default, in men-women relationships, women are the followers and men are the leaders. Women will always shadow your every move and decision. What I mean by that is that the emotions you feel will trigger and drive the women’s emotions as well. Emotions on what she will base most of her decisions on at the time.
She will not be experiencing exactly the same emotions that you will, but rather it is like looking at reflection in the mirror. This is the emotional context that will serve the foundation of both how you act and how she reacts.
That’s why, if you believe that most girls act like bitches, you are going to have a very high rate of negative responses from women in general. On the other hand, if you believe that women are crazy fun, you will always end up with crazy fun women.
What you need to realise is that both women, both the bitches and the fun ones, are most likely to be the same; their attitude is only a reflection of how you feel at that particular moment.
Unless you change your mindset, the majority of women you meet will always act the same way which, in turn, could easily create this self-fulfilling prophecy cycle whereby you reinforce your paradigm about what women are really like.
You’re the director, the one who runs the show; you just need to choose the right story and script.
As a matter of fact, the right emotions are more important than just relying on a random selection. Take control!
The common problems: anxiety, a fear of failure and self-sabotage
Beside the general negative attitude about women, another very common problem takes place when you establish the basic foundation and tone of a relationship. You have this good feeling going on, and you become afraid of losing it.
What if she rejects me?
It’s so cool right now; I don’t want to lose it! So let’s be a pussy about it and avoid doing the risky stuff, like taking and dragging her in my car or kissing her right here right now. Instead, let’s go with the nice “see you later, maybe” or the proper “can I have your email address, please” routine.
This is very problematic because without even noticing it, you’re feeling and broadcasting anxiety. This is now what you’re leading the girl into! Anxiety! She is now feeling this crappy negative feeling and now you’re done … no more pink and magical “chemistry.”
You just switched on the “I just don’t feel it” or “he is creepy”, alarm.
Even worse, you just missed a great opportunity to seal the deal!
Chemistry is about communicating the right range of emotions. What this means is that the first thing to do is to stop focusing on the content of what you want to say. In practice, your discourse is not really relevant when it comes to chemistry; it won’t matter at all once the proper chemistry has been established. Second, let things unfold on their own and experience yourself those emotions you want to communicate.
So forget about all this negative thinking, about how women are crazy and try focusing on the good stuff and what you really like about her.
Right now, she is in front of you; she smell good, she’s hot, she has nice legs, nice ass, nice tits, nice hair, nice lips … hmmm …. I want to kiss her; I want to fuck her. That’s where you need to focus your attention on!
Dominant, positive, pleasant, sexually charged emotions.
All those awesome sexual and primal feelings! Just enjoy them, let them bloom, fuel them, let them embrace you!
Now you feel good, you’re in the present, you’re in the action! That is where you want to be!
When you’re fully present by flowing freely with your deep primal emotions, that’s when you are going to fully access and realize your creativity, which would also make you even more attractive in the eyes of women. Even more important, since you’re the one who broadcast the strongest and wildest energy and emotions, it makes you totally independent from the girl’s reaction to feel good. You’re the one who built up the emotional tone; Now you’re in charge, now there is chemistry!
Also, what’s good about being in action is that it brings you out of your head. If you think too much, logic-based anxiety steps in with the question of “What if?” This will, in turn, raise more issues for you in the future if you do not control yourself.
You want to stay in the flow! It’s time not to think about anything. Just follow your instincts and trust yourself; you will surely do the right thing!
Now it’s time to taste her, to open her, to see what is going on inside her! This is one of the best parts; will she be sweet, spicy or maybe bitter?
Don’t think about fancy strategies or suitable pick-up lines, it’s only going to mess with the whole thing!
Just do it! Go to her, and do what you have to do! If you feel like taking her hand, then put your arms around her, smell her or simply drop a silly joke! Whatever you are going to do, it’s going to be the right thing as long as chemistry is there. The moment you have the chemistry in place, you don’t even have to think about it again. Things will fall in place on their own. Just do what you have to do!
Be aggressive! Go get what you want! Create that connection and make her feel you, pull her in your world!
No need to be smart, silly works just fine; it is even better sometimes. What’s important is your emotional state at the time when you are with the chosen girl as well as how you can seize the initiative. That’s why it’s so important to be yourself, because only then you are going to reach the required level of comfort.
Of course, creating chemistry cannot work 100% all the time! Some women are depressed, angry, not available, and others just not compatible. But if you choose the right girl, you maintain a badass body language, and you create the proper chemistry, it’s going to work out just fine! Heeding these pieces of information will go a long way of making these your new paradigm about women, thus creating this new self-fulfilling prophecy cycle which, in turn, is going to make chemistry happen every time like magic.
If you need more in-depth information about this subject, one of the best, well rounded, resource that covers widely this subject is Corey Wayne’s book How To Be A 3% Man, Winning The Heart Of The Woman Of Your Dreams
A big part of being Alpha is to understand that in life, when you want something, you need to go get it. If you don’t know how to get it, well, got get this information first.
Learn, evolve, take action, fail, learn from it, evolve, take action. Again and again…
There is no such things has ”I knowing it all”. It’s a never ending process that you must apply all your life in everything. If you think “you now you got it” and you chose to site on your ass and stop improving, first thing you’ll know is that you don’t have it anymore.
You have to be tough and relentless, always keep going.
You want to be better than me mother-fucker, you better get up fucking early!
On this last note,
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